broodjets

***Last Week Moise said he had to be somewhere (not to a haunted house) at a specific time, so he said wish him luck.  Instead of wishing him luck I simply stated, “You won’t make it.”  Maybe I should be a cheerleader for Halloween.  Today’s Friday Email is all about “Haunted Houses.”  Have a great weekend!***

Halloween is this coming weekend, and you may have visited a haunted house during the spooky season.  If you have and come across Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees, you probably ran away if they chased after you.  I went to a haunted house attraction. My uncle and I lost my brother and sister.  They went the wrong way.  We got out and waited a few minutes to see if they’d come out.  Other people came out and still my siblings didn’t make it so we had a moment of silence as we figured we lost them to the monsters (they came out a few minutes later and wanted to know what the heck we were doing with our heads bowed in our moment of silence for them).  Damian will be Michael Myers this year for Halloween.  Somehow, I don’t think he will intimidate people and make them think his house is haunted as he’d try to be friends with any monsters that come by.  This guy calls me at work and says he’s looking for Anthony.  You’ve found him, I said.  He didn’t seem to be in a playful mood though and said this is being recorded.  I didn’t say anything bad, I simply said you found him.  I’m glad my phone line isn’t recorded (I hope it’s not at least), or I’d be haunted by half the conversations I have.  Junior always says he’s not a big fan of Halloween.  It’s like a darker celebration (of death and such).  But Junior the monsters I saw in the haunted house were all too alive (trust me).  Moise asked if I could order a bag of trail mix for him when I got one for myself.  Sure, it’s $19.99.  He said okay, fine.  It’s not really $19.99 Moise; it’s more like $13.99.  I could see Moise handing out Halloween candy to kids and saying this is $1.50 for this bag of candy.  Worse than going trick or treating at a haunted house is being charged for the candy.  Junior wanted to know why his lawn always seems to have all the leaves on it while the neighbors on both sides of him have none.  It’s easy Junior your house isn’t haunted, but your 2 neighbors are using a leaf blower to blow all their leaves right into your yard (I think it’s a conspiracy to make them look better and you look worse).  I called Moise and immediately said I called to talk to Abby.  He said I already know that.  I said to her I’ll come over and play tag next weekend.  She said no I don’t want to play tag.  Okay, so what do you want to play?  She said Zombies.  I said who gets to be the Zombie?  She said you.  Maybe Moise’s house will be turned into a Haunted House tomorrow for us to play Zombies.  Moise said he needs 10 entries to do this.  I said no, you did something wrong.  He said no, that’s 2 for this.  I said ok now 8 left.  He said 2 for that.  I said ok now 6 left.  He ran out of reasons for entries.  Moise said you should be a lawyer (maybe for Halloween). You can argue with everything when you want to make your point.  The sun is purple.  I believe it and it is that way.  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, just remember I may haunt you in your sleep if you don’t do it.  Please do your timesheet today and remember if you want to haunt Moise with frustrating him just question everything he says like I do.

Happy Halloween and have a great weekend!

Anthony

***Moise texted me he needed help with something.  The 3 choices AI gave me to reply with are “Sure no problem,” “Okay, I will” and “Good luck with that.” Which of the 3 do you bet I would reply to him with?  If you guessed “Good luck with that” you’d be correct.  Today’s Friday Email is all about “Betting.” Have a great weekend!***

We all have made a bet before, like a bet on a sports game.  This guy driving was trying to see if I’d let him in, in front of me.  Nope.  He waved to me sarcastically.  I would bet that I am not one of the nicer drivers around, but I can easily get a sense right away if I’m letting in someone who’s going to drive or take forever to move, and this guy didn’t give me a positive vib.  This person pulled their car up to me when I was running at 6AM and reached out to hand me a brightly colored orange jacket because “This way you won’t get hit by a car.” I bet they didn’t know my favorite bright color is neon green, not bright orange.  Moise and I made a bet.  It was after 5 and Moise said he thinks this person is still at work.  I said no, they’re not Moise.  He said yes.  I said you want to bet $5.  He said fine, let’s go check.  We both ran upstairs (because we don’t trust the other to be honest about whether the person was here or not) and then we found that they were in the building it appeared (lights, computers on etc.) but not at their desk.  So, who wins the bet in that situation?  Neither wanted to pay up, so it was considered a tie.  Moise told me Junior was cranky one day.  I bet the reason he was cranky Moise was because of you.  Moise was saying his phone was dying.  I said why don’t you charge it?  He said it doesn’t charge.  I bet Abby did something to it Moise.  Abby wanted to use my phone to play another race car game.  I said do you know what Joshua did to my phone when he used it?  He gave it a virus.  I bet Abby didn’t care because she still wanted to play the race car game, so I gave in to her as usual and let her.  I told Abby I got a present for her.  What did she bet it was?  She guessed it was Michael Myers.  Well, it is Halloween Season, but I didn’t bring him over to play.  Junior bragged that he always cleans the dishes before going to bed.  I bet he just throws them in a dishwasher instead and considers that “washing dishes.”  Sometimes I would bet that Moise’s printer is possessed.  It started printing nonstop.  I heard him talking to it “stop, stop. Not now. Where’s the power button?” Uh Moise it’s that big button that says power, and I bet Abby could find it.  Abby told me she couldn’t do something because she was a kid.  I said so what am I?  She paused and eventually said…an adult.  I bet it was hard for her to debate whether she considered me an adult or not based on her delayed response.  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, just remember I don’t take bets on who’s going to do it and who’s not going to do it (but if it was legal to do so, I’d make a lot of money as I know all too well the ones who will and the ones who won’t).  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember if a little kid barely looks at you as being an adult, you probably have to reevaluate your life.
Have a great weekend!

Anthony

***I received something in the mail at Savin addressed to me.  It was a kids toys magazine.  Either they think I have kids or that I am a kid (probably the latter as is Junior’s description of me).  Today’s Friday Email is all about “Descriptions.” Have a great weekend!***

We all try to describe different things we experience.  Damian saw a squirrel and ran towards it but hopping in a playful way.  He got close to it and saw it run away and had no desire to chase after it.  He was looking forward to playing.  Rollins in that same scenario in the past would have chased after that squirrel and tried to climb up the tree after it raging after it wanting to kill it.  Two dogs that are the same breed (Boston Terriers) can have different descriptions:  Damian – Friendly, Rollins – Psychotic Killer.  Junior asked why hot chocolate is always hot.  Umm Junior the description of “hot” chocolate might be the reason.  Then again why am I freezing but drinking iced coffee?  Someone at work said to remind Moise he hadn’t done this yet for them.  They said to describe it in a nice way.  I said oh I always do it in a nice way.  Moise you still didn’t do this, what have you been doing all day?  Junior told us about a wedding he went to.  The first description he gave is that it’s expensive.  Uhm we know that Junior.  Junior described the best man at the wedding as a chubbier version of Moise. Umm, is that a compliment.  Not sure.  He says how else would I describe Moise?  I said what about handsome.  Junior said what do you mean handsome?  I told Moise that I went apple picking.  He said are you going to make an apple pie?  No Moise, I’m not.  He says you can YouTube how to make one.  I did that with brownies once and describing how sick everyone got eating them is not something I want to relive with apple pie.  Someone told me about a worker at the post office who is out injured for 6 months but is milking it and easily could return to work.  He’s single with 4 kids. My description is he is crazy I’d run back to work on crutches if I had to.  Doctor Joe continued his never-ending work on Moise’s car and took 2 screws out the same day.  Impressive.  But he described the chances of the patient/car as being 50/50.  I was texting back and forth with Moise when he was home one day and I was at work.  I laughed and told Junior you know if a random person read these texts they would think we are bitter enemies just nonstop giving each other a difficult time.  I would describe the texts as “friendly fighting.”  Junior got bacon, egg and cheese for $8.07.  He described to the lady working there this is expensive.  And then told us his doctor said not to eat bacon or cheese (oops).  Joshua, Abby, and their friend/neighbor wanted to play tag with me on Saturday.  They all tell me “you’re it.” I would describe myself as a pretty fast runner but chasing after 3 little kids made me wonder how do they run this fast with short legs?  I finally caught Abby and tagged her.  Ha victory.  She asked me to pick her up for a second, so I did and the moment I put her down she tagged me and said “You’re It.” I would describe that as being outsmarted by a kid.  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, just remember I describe how important it is for you to do it on Friday.  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember if you play tag with a bunch of kids just realize they may not only outrun you, but they may out smart you too.

Have a great weekend!
Anthony

***I was speeding trying to beat a light that was about to turn red and a cop coming towards me from the opposite direction was doing the same.  I stopped when I noticed it was a cop at the light, but he flew through it.  If I did what he did, I would have gotten a ticket.  The cop is a VIP, but I am not.  Today’s Friday Email is all about “VIP”.  Have a great weekend!!!***

In some way we are all a VIP (Very Important Person).  You may be a VIP to your spouse, friend, mom, children, sister, brother, or Junior (like Moise and I are).  My friend told me recently she was “people watching.” I said nobody ever watched me and if they did, they would probably change the channel immediately.  I called Moise and then Abby and I started talking and ignoring Moise.  Moise asked me are you talking to me or Abby?  You know Moise Abby is a VIP, and you are not.  She asked me why I didn’t come over.  I told her I had to go see my mom.  She said what about me.  I’ll be there tomorrow, Abby.  Joshua wasn’t happy with me and Moise talking to each other.  He said nobody wants to play with me.  Not true Joshua, you are a VIP just like Abby is.  Junior went to urgent care, and they took him right away, he said.  I said you must be a VIP Junior.  He said yes, he is (and very modest about it apparently). Someone asked Moise for something.  He said to me you must be bragging you did this, that’s why someone is asking me for the same thing?  Moi?  Brag?  Never…unless it’s to take a dig at Moise.  Moise said you know how to do this.  I said everyone knows this Moise.  He said you can get up and show me.  I told him okay after I finish ridiculing you first.  Moise said I will go with you Junior at 4:40. Junior says yeah, it’ll be 5:30, and you’ll still be here.  Moise says no no (he’s serious when he uses more than 1 no) 4:30. I said wow he moved it up from 4:40 to 4:30 Junior. He must be serious.  Junior shakes his head and walks out (I guess you weren’t a VIP worth waiting for Moise).  Junior was saying how some people say they’d rather be on a plane than on a boat, but he disagrees.  Me too, but then what if there were sharks all surrounding the boat?  Those sharks think they are VIPs. Moise said Doctor Joe is still fixing his car but only doing one piece at a time.  If it needs 200 pieces, that takes a long time to fix.  Don’t rush a VIP mechanic Moise.  Moise said he was cooking in Moise’s kitchen.  Well, a doctor can’t work on an empty stomach, Moise.  Moise was telling us about someone who’s a doctor (a real doctor not like Doctor Joe).  Junior said who is it?  Moise said she’s younger than you are Junior and she’s a doctor (VIP).  I threw in my commentary he’s saying your unsuccessful Junior.  Then I was like I’m sitting here doing timesheets and she’s a doctor.  Moise tried to make it better.  He said Junior you are like the guy who stands behind the big guy.  He said so like a politician, you’re the guy behind who grabs his coat for him or the guy standing behind the celebrity holding the umbrella over their head. I said umm Moise you’re making it worse.  Moise said no that guy knows more usually than the upfront guy.  That is true.  See Junior you’re a VIP (Moise just took the long insulting road to get there).  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, just remember you are all VIP’s and I need you to do your timesheet.  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember if you want to feel good about yourself don’t ask Moise to try to give you a pep talk.

Have a great weekend

Anthony

***I went bowling last week and I noticed one specific bowling ball I used I was getting a few strikes/spares (it was useful).  But the other bowling ball I was terrible bowling with (it was useless).  Abby could have beaten me.  Today’s Friday Email is all about Useful vs. Useless.  Have a great weekend!***

Sometimes we come across things that are useful to us while other times we come across things that are useless to us.  I used to sometimes pay attention in school (I emphasize “sometimes”).  I would try to study the night before an exam and sometimes, I’d realize it was useless.  I’m not going to pass this test tomorrow no matter if I stay up all night so let me go to bed and get my (much needed) beauty sleep.  Moise asked me if Junior was here.  I said no.  He said good then we can talk.  He said I don’t want a lecture.  A good old-fashioned lecture from time to time can be useful to us all Moise.  I was on the phone with customer service, and they asked me for my permission to record the call.  My response was ok. I guess I won’t say anything too bad this time at least.  Not a very useful response in them trusting me.  Junior asked if Moise’s brother still works out.  Moise said not really.  Junior said I’m talking about your brother, not you, Moise.  We know you don’t work out.  A useful insult.  I was helping Moise with Joshua to do a little homework.  Joshua handed me his eraser to hold while he was practicing writing his numbers.  At least I was useful as an eraser holder.  Moise said can I ask you a stupid question?  I said sure you ask one every day.  He says never mind then.  I guess that wasn’t useful of me.  Moise was rushing to get a piece of mail to go out with Hugo our mail guy.  Stall him,he says.  How?  He says do what you do best “Talk.” That’s my only useful skill, is my mouth. Moise and I both called a vendor trying to reach a human but kept getting AI.  We could not get past it.  We were on the phone arguing with robots.  AI can be useful or useless.  When someone was calling me on Monday and the name showing up was “Sunday” I figured it was not a good day to answer.  Moise comes to me and says listen to this.  I was staring at my computer screen “listening.” Then he says “look.” You said listen not look I’m trying to be useful by half paying attention to you while doing my work.  Junior saw half a bottle of water in the fridge.  Who would do that, he says.  Umm me Junior.  He said why would you drink half the bottle and put it back?  It’s useless to defend myself with Junior but I told him I poured the water into my own water bottle.  I didn’t drink from it.  What do you think I am?  He just raised both his eyebrows (I guess that’s a nice way to say you don’t want me to answer that).  Joshua and Abby’s cousin wanted to sell me something for $1, but I showed her my wallet I only have a $20 bill.  Her eyes lit up and she said yes, that’s better and grabbed it!  A $20 is more useful than a $1 bill, and every kid and adult knows that.  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, just remember it’s useful to do it on Fridays.  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember as every little kid learns at a very young age, a $20 bill is more useful than a $1 bill.

Have a great weekend!

Anthony

***Moise was barbecuing at his home but burned himself.  Fortunately, he was okay, but it looked like he had a virus on his arm from the burn.  His cousin heroically saved the day and finished the BBQ (yet Moise still wanted the credit).  Today’s Friday Email is all about “Virus.” Have a great weekend!***

Nobody wants to get a virus. But it happens from time to time. Your computer may even get a virus. It may not cough in your face, but it still refuses to work properly. I got the drive-through pickup code “FU00.” It seemed inappropriate, but the woman asked me to repeat it several times, so I obliged.  Someone told me I don’t look like my age (in a good way I look younger) but then said you don’t talk your age either (somehow that sounds like a bad way not a good way).  Someone pointed out a problem, and Junior looked at me while I looked at Moise. We passed it down the line like a virus. Moise asked whether Tom Brady was still playing. He didn’t get a virus, Moise; he just got old enough to retire several years ago. Abby said, “Guess who my friend is that’s coming over?” I said Joshua.  Abby said no, that’s my brother. I said okay me. She said no, you’re my Anthony (at least she didn’t call me a virus).  Joshua was using my phone to play games. He asked me to download one, but every time he saw another game, he wanted that one too. Next thing I knew, he was playing several games while I kept an eye on him. When he decided he was done—because, apparently, it’s his phone, not mine, I took it back and realized my apps and everything else were messed up. What did he do? Moise tried to fix it—you have a better chance of Doctor Joe fixing your car, Moise—so I finally went to Verizon. The employee asked what happened. I explained that I had watched a kid use my phone and he had messed it up. He asked, “How closely were you watching him?” Obviously not closely enough, wise guy. He found the problem: my phone had a virus, and he fixed it. Junior was talking about cruises. They sound fun, but being on the water that long? He asked, “You know how to swim, right?” I said, I don’t know. I never learned, even though I had a pool as a kid. I only know how to run away from sharks and move my arms if I’m sinking.  Moise said Doctor Joe finally came by to repair his car, one year after promising to do it. How did it go? He removed Moise’s front tires and fender. That sounds like the start of a repair. And then? He left for the day. Now he says it will take “two weeks” to fix. Moise, if Doctor Joe repairs that car by Christmas, you’ll be lucky. Every car he touches seems to have caught a virus.  We were going out to the barbecue, but Moise was holding us up.  Junior said, “You play your late game, Moise.” Being late is like a virus for him—or maybe just a lifestyle. Moise was playing chess, and as soon as his opponent turned away, two pieces seemed to move on their own. Maybe it was the wind? He also tried to move a pawn backward and called the king the queen. Moise told me that he knows someone who is a master chess player.  And he beat this guy (eventually he admitted the “guy” was 4 years old when he beat him).  Hint: Moise was much older than 4 years old when he beat the 4-year-old.  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, just remember as long as your computer doesn’t have a virus on it, you should be able to do it every Friday.  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember if you’re 4 years old (or younger) than Moise has at least a 50% chance of beating you at chess.

Have a great weekend!

Anthony

***Most calendars present Sunday as the 1st day of the week.  Moise said it himself, and the calendar agrees with him.  Then why is Saturday and Sunday called the week”end” Moise?  He said no the weekend is Friday and Saturday.  So why am I at work today sending this Friday Email out?  Today’s Friday Email is all about “Presentation.” Have a great weekend!***

We’ve all had to make a presentation before in school.  You go up in front of the class; pretend you know what you’re talking about and then sit down as fast as you can before any annoying student attempts to ask you a follow-up question (at least that’s how I did my presentations).  Junior saw me carrying 2 iced coffees.  I wasn’t trying to present one of them to him.  He said do you drink both?  I said I throw some of each out.  He said you are a weird kid.  Moise said good job being a kid.  Junior can I not present to you that I am an adult, not a kid?  Moise presented me with a problem he had.  He was stressing about it, and I was playing it off like it’s no big deal.  He said this will be my problem though because I will get blamed.  I said that’s exactly why I’m not stressed about it.  Moise asked me to check something he did for work and if I think it looks presentable.  I said do you really want to ask me about something being presentable?  Am I presentable?  My life is a mess.  He said you are worth more than you think (but the real question is am I worth more than Junior thinks).  I was presenting myself with the idea that nobody likes me one day recently.  This person doesn’t like me.  That person doesn’t like me.  Then I realized that Abby likes me.  Nothing else matters.  Junior was saying Moise over examines things.  He’s more annoying than anyone.  Congrats Moise, let’s present you with the most annoying person award.  He said he won proudly.  Moise said he must be somewhere at 6.  For fun I look up on MapQuest and tell Moise if you left right now, you’d be 13 minutes late and arrive at 6:13 and you haven’t even gotten up yet (so to be exact if you teleport yourself instantly from your desk to your car you’ll make it by 6:13).  I’m so helpful and encouraging with how I present things.  I check back to update Moise, and it says 6:25 now.  He said you’re not helping, don’t do that.  A minute later I checked and it says 6:26 now.  He sighs and finally gets up to leave.  I am good at motivating people.  I’m at Junior’s desk.  He is presenting his desk drawer open. Junior it’s a mess.  He simply shuts the drawer without saying a word.  I said that’s your solution.  He said yes.  Moise was at his desk saying, “I have to kill you.”  I’m thinking what did I do?  Should I call HR?  I get up and go to his desk behind me, and he has a big bug he’s battling.  Oh, the bug.  Joshua and Abby love the trampoline they got this summer.  Moise and I used it with them.  Abby was trash talking telling me I jump like a baby, so I jumped high to show off and then crashed and lay there for a minute while she thought it was funny (so much for sympathy).  Moise and I were sitting on the trampoline tired after 5 minutes.  Joshua and Abby kept saying keep going.  No, we’re old and we’re tired.  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, just remember that I present to you a good reason to do it every single Friday (I won’t have to do to you what Moise did to that bug on Monday).  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember if you think you can outdo kids on a trampoline better than Moise and I could go ahead and try. 

Have a great weekend!

Anthony

***I told Moise you still didn’t do this at work.  He said I only have 2 hands.  My solution was maybe you should grow a 3rd hand (he was not happy with that comment) but then instead of your hands doing 50/50 of the work you could do 33.3/33.3/33.3.  Today’s Friday Email is all about 50/50.  Have a great weekend!***

The world is full of 50/50 situations where half the people like something and the other half don’t.  For instance, 50% of kids are happy that school is back while 50% aren’t (ok that one might be more like 20% happy and 80% not happy).  Junior showed us a story about where this guy and girl broke up.  But the father texted the guy and said I heard you broke up with my daughter, but why did you cut me off your Netflix Account?  I’m just an innocent casualty.  A lot more than 50% of comments on social media supported him and said he should be kept on the guy’s Netflix Account (He didn’t do anything wrong).  There’s less than a 50/50 chance when you go to Urgent Care that they’re going to help you.  I went there last week for a poison ivy diagnosis and prescription.  This other patient wanted to go in, but they were closed.  It’s 8:59 and they open at 9.  He said I guess if it’s before 9 it isn’t so urgent.  Then we must sign in and he’s not happy about it.  He said what if I am bleeding.  I told him you still have to sign in, and you can sign your name in blood.  Moise hears my car making a noise.  He says your car is not good.  My answer was no Moise that’s because the road is bumpy.  There’s a 50/50 chance that I’m right or you’re right (but less than a 50% chance of Moise getting me a new car).  I texted Moise on my way to work if he wanted a coffee.  No response. I got to the office, and he just saw the text while we were both at our desks, and he texted back “Yes” (there was a 100% chance he would say that) but I’m already here Moise and I’m not going back to get you coffee.  I told Junior I saw a baby coyote, and he said you better stay away from the parents (better than 50% chance they’ll attack).  But I think there’s far less than a 50/50 chance Junior would help me from a coyote attack.  Moise asked me something, I told him how to do it, and he said I got it.  I said a correction I got it for you.  He said yeah, you got it alright (that sounded 100% sarcastic not 50%).  Moise’s friend “mechanic” Doctor Joe called and said he had car trouble.  He said he took a big knife and tried to cut part of his belt that was making too much noise (stopping the noise was 100% successful) but now he was having trouble driving it on the parkway (I could picture him using a Michael Myer’s huge knife to do this).  Joshua wanted me to hold his juice box while he jumped on his trampoline (at least I made myself useful).  There’s a better than 50/50 chance I took a sip of that juice box when Joshua offered it to me.  Abby taught me how to use a hula hoop.  I still didn’t do it as well as her, but it was better than my first attempt when I tried to teach her how to do it (I’m glad that was not recorded for purposes of being put on YouTube).  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, just remember doing your timesheet should be easier than using a hula hoop (at least it is for me).  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember if you think you’re too old for a juice box and a hula hoop than you just aren’t living your life to its fullest.

Have a great weekend!

Anthony

***If you ever play a game with a pair of dice and roll two ones it’s referred to as “Snake Eyes.”  The much tamer figurative meaning of it but in today’s Friday Email we find a real snake (no not Junior) in “Snake Eyes.” Have a great weekend!***

Some people like snakes.  Others don’t.  And still others would drive to another town if they even heard there was a snake nearby.  I’m on the train after a Yankees game, and people are standing because there aren’t enough seats (not even enough room for a snake on that train).  Meanwhile someone is sitting in a seat with her big bag taking up another seat.  I guess she was saving the extra seat for her bag (not for a snake and definitely not for me).  I saw this elderly couple.  The guy could barely walk; however, he made the effort to hold the door for his wife.  1 week later I saw a similar situation but totally different couple the wife asks me to call her husband for her as she wants to choke him (worse than a snake wrapped around your neck would choke him) because he drove off with her phone in his car.  The latter sounds more like the relationships I’ve had.  I came in last week on Monday and told Junior I had bad news.  He said what is it?  I said Moise is not here this week.  He said what’s the bad news.  Well, the snake that would be in the building later in the week would be bad news for you Junior as we’ll find out soon.  Junior was saying how he doesn’t like things that complicate his life.  I said like me?  He said an excellent example.  Maybe I should have asked like snakes?  I called Moise and Joshua and Abby take over the call while Moise was able to talk 0% (that’s normal).  Abby asked why I’m calling her dad.  I guess that I must give the boss a reason for my call.  Someone typed “Moise” to send him an email, and it came up as “Mouse” (far less dangerous than a snake).  I was ordering lunch and asked Junior if he wanted me to pick up something for him (let me be clear not to pay for him, but I can pick it up at least).  He says nah this guy who works there touches the money and then touches the food.  You may want to be quiet Junior; I’m calling the money/food toucher now.  He hears the guy on the phone and says that’s him!  At least they don’t have snakes roaming around trying to get to your sandwich at this place Junior (or so I hope). Last week we heard there was a snake in the building.  And the story went around the building from its a tiny little thing to a giant venomous snake.  I saw a picture of it, and it looked big so I told Junior can you believe it?  And he says no way.  I say yes way.  Junior was ready to evacuate the building (along with others including myself) if this snake was what I was picturing.  But then I saw it in person as it was “captured” and “released” by a local Savin employee hero, and it wasn’t the huge python I was envisioning.  Moise said Junior is a chicken but then again, the days the snake was around Moise was on vacation miles away from it, so it’s easy to talk a big game from a safe distance Moise.  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, just remember it’s all fun and games until you stare at a venomous snake in the eyes or until you stare into my eyes on Monday after not doing your timesheet.  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember if you have a pet snake then don’t invite Junior to your home.

Have a great weekend.

Anthony

***Moise said something good about me and Junior interrupted him and said don’t make Anthony sound like a good person (we would not want that misconception to spread around).  Today’s Friday Email is all about “Misconceptions.” Have a great weekend!***

There are a lot of misconceptions like everyone believes everything they see posted on social media as fact (social media is not nearly as factual as the Friday Email is).  This driver was about to turn on my road. We both had stop signs.  I stopped (well sort of half stopped) and she did the same.  She pulled her car up next to me looked at me in this way that if looks could kill, I’d have been dead on the spot.  I guess she had the misconception that she stopped but she didn’t just like I didn’t.  I stared back at her and said some words to her that are not “Friday Email Appropriate.” I made sure there was no misconception about what I said to her (maybe Junior was right in the heading of not wanting to make me sound like a good person).  Moise was saying if he calls this person now, they will get mad.  Why hesitate Moise?  If it was Junior, you’d call so quickly and take enjoyment out of it. There is no misconception that Moise takes more enjoyment out of making Junior mad than anyone else.  Moise tells Junior something he did.  It wasn’t the greatest thing to do.  Junior says that’s not surprising.  There is no misconception of Junior’s (low) expectations of Moise or myself.  Moise and I were moving boxes at Savin.  Four boxes.  I took one of the four.  He says three for me.  I groaned and said give me a second box then.  I do not want there to be a misconception that I’m making you do all the heavy lifting (even though that was my original plan).  I see the first box looks like the lightest of the three remaining; he skips over it, grabs the heaviest box, and dumps it on me (I guess that’s retaliation for me originally wanting him to take 3 of the boxes).  We bring the boxes to the back.  Moise locks us out of the back of the building, and we have to walk all the way around the building to get back in.  If you saw us, there may have been a misconception that we were just taking a walk on a nice Wednesday morning when we just locked ourselves out of the building.  Moise said he had some work to do, but I could come over and babysit the kids.  Sure.  I’ll babysit them while you’re busy or maybe more accurately, they’ll babysit me.  Abby showed me her muscles and lifted a carriage.  Maybe you should have come to work and helped lift some boxes with us instead.  Joshua took my nose off my face. There is no misconception; you do not want this nose.  Moise comes in and sees me tired a little and says I thought you wanted to babysit.  I did Moise until either they fought, cried or I got tired (the latter happened first in this case).  Abby wanted to play “Monsters” which we play often.  I got to be the monster (lucky me). She offered me (the monster) a pancake (I thought as a form of bribery not to go after her).  I told her monsters don’t eat pancakes (that’s a misconception) and they eat little kids.  That didn’t even scare her a little; she simply asked why pancakes aren’t good for monsters?  I do not know too many carbs?   Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, there are no misconceptions that you should be doing it on Fridays.  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember if you thought the misconception of monsters eating kids would scare them then you haven’t met Abby yet. 

Have a great weekend!

Anthony